Thursday, December 7, 2023
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REVIEW: Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings

Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings is a new Marvel superhero origin movie about Shang-Chi, a hero who must confront his past when his family draws him back into the mysterious Ten Rings Organization. The movie introduces stock photo model Simu Liu as Shang-Chi, the Marvel Cinematic Universe’s first Asian main character. Tony Leung, Awkwafina, and Michelle Yeoh co-star in this Marvel Studio martial arts action romp. Is it fair to say ‘romp’ in this case? I think so.

It’s an MCU movie, so you can expect lots of fighting, words, humor, MCU callbacks and CGI battles. Does the movie holdup to other MCU origin movies like Black Panther, Iron Man, and Captain Marvel? If you were basing your decision to watch this movie on my Internet Movie Expert™ opinion, then get ready for my spoiler-free/tangent-full review!

PROS!

  • The title of this movie, Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings, reminds me of that old Nickelodeon show Legends of the Hidden Temple. That’s right folks, I used to watch Nickelodeon and dream about being on TV in Nick Arcade, G.U.T.S. and Double Dare. That’s a lot of references that are sure to scare off any millennials who stumbled upon this review. Mark Summers was the bomb, yo!
  • Remember that show? Where kids would run through a gauntlet of physical challenges and then have to run through a temple maze? How cool would that have been to run through a giant set piece temple. We didn’t have many ancient temples near my childhood home.
  • Also, I liked how the host was a nice guy and tried to help the kids when they couldn’t figure out puzzles or fell down temple stairs or whatever.

CONS!

  • Who are those temple guardians who would pop out of the Hidden Temple and take the kids? Didn’t Olmec the big statue guy go, “hey maybe we shouldn’t tackle kids for trying to win some 90’s merchandise.” Why didn’t they give the kids some weapons to fend off the guardians?
  • What would happen to those kids? Would the temple guardians just go, “haha sorry kid I had to tackle you here are you parents backstage please don’t sue for emotional trauma.”
  • Speaking of emotional trauma, what was up with Olmec? He was the big rock statue face who would ask questions and his eyes would light up all red? That guy was scary and kind of a dick. Where is he now? Did someone turn him into a fireplace or a retaining wall?
  • Orange Iguanas were always a bunch of cheaters. I never liked them. Blue Barracudas for life!

Congratulations for surviving another Cinema Listed dot com review! Now go watch Shang-Chi in theaters! Or, if you’re like me and prefer not to venture out into the real world, you can wait until the movie releases on Disney+.

997,035 STARS

OUT OF 1,000,000 STARS

Hey look it’s a trailer for Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings in case you just read this review and have no idea what movie I was talking about! Watch the trailer and pretend to do kung-fu in front of the mirror!

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