Monday, May 20, 2024
Not ListsReview

REVIEW: Bad Boys for Life

Bad Boys for Life is the highest-grossing movie of 2020. Let that sink in.

Ok, now that you’ve calmed down, here’s a paragraph where I write a quick movie summary. The Bad Boys are at a crossroads 17 years after their previous crossroads: Mike Lowrey (Will Smith) is a crime fighter and his partner-in-crime-fighting Marcus Burnett (Martin from the show Martin) is slowly becoming Roger Murtaugh. Spoiler: Some bad stuff happens! Then it’s time for the Bad Boys to get out of bed, get dressed, and go shoot people/things and explode people/things.

Now here comes a bunch of bullet points that prove/disprove/disperse my thoughts on the latest chapter in the Bad Boy saga:

the bad boys!
  • Lots of explosions! These boys are bad so there’s a bunch of big explosions! Hey look at me! I’m an explosion! Wee there’s another explosion over there for some reason! And another one! Wee look at all this fire and smoke! Why does everything explode like it was packed full of 300 pounds of C-4? I don’t know but I’m here for all the explosions!
  • Lots of chasing! These are some bad boys and they love chasing people! Car chases, motorcycle chases, on-foot chases, helicopter chases. Hey look at me! I’m a chase scene! Everyone gets chased by everything! Wee there’s another chase! Look at all this chasing! Why can’t these people slow down and talk it out? I don’t know but I’m here for all the chasing!
  • Lots of jokes! The boys love the bad jokes! Hey look at me! I’m another joke! Wee Mike and Marcus shot someone and joke about it! Someone just died! There’s a rotting carcass right there! Wee here comes another joke! Look at all these jokes! Why doesn’t someone say, “now is not the time to crack a witty one-liner we all almost just died horrible deaths?” I don’t know but I’m here for all the joking!
the bad boys?
  • They should’ve named it Bad Boys 3 and called the next one Bad Boys 4 Lyfe. Because this is the third movie in the series, and the next one is the fourth. Let that sink in. Also, I added the ‘y’ in ‘Lyfe’ because it still sounds like ‘Life’ but it looks way cooler.
  • Where’s Reggie? Sure, the boys kind of pick on the new young crew (thank god cause young people are the worst, right folks?), but it’s not quite the same as screaming at/pointing a gun at/making a pass at a teen’s face. If Reggie doesn’t come back as the villain in Bad Boys 4 Lyfe I’ll be very disappointed. Unless he comes back as a villain in Bad Boys 5Ever.
  • No seriously, they should have called it Bad Boys 3 or Bad Boys: 3 Ride Together 3 Die Together or Bad Boys: I’m Going to the Bathroom I Have to 3.

I like the Bad Boys. They are a couple of wild scamps. Go watch their movie and cheer them on and go sing their theme song it goes like this “bad boys bad boys, daylight come and me want to go home, Saturday only at the Bon Marche”

more bad boys!

999,884 STARS

out of 1,000,000 stars

Click on the image below to watch Bad Boys for Life and I’ll receive a little bit of that Bad Boy Bezos money:

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